Learning How To Breathe Again

I hated it. It was so awful that I didn't even want to come back for a visit. Yet here I am.

And I have to say, this trip has actually been a ton of fun. For one thing, I made it clear to everyone that I would only be here for a month just to set expectations. So instead of feeling like I would be here indefinitely, I felt like I had to maximize the amount of time that I was here by seeing friends, spending time with family and doing all the shit that you can only do in a place like LA.

There's a famous quote that I learned from one of Robert Greene's books, The 48 Laws Of Power. This is from Law 16: Use absence to increase respect.

A man said to a Dervish: “Why do I not see you more often?”

The Dervish replied, “Because the words ‘Why have you not been to see me?’ are sweeter to my ear than the words ‘Why have you come again?”’

~ Mulla jami, quoted in ldries Shah’s Caravan of Dreams, 1968

Greene's books were some of the last ones where I'd purchased the hard copy versions instead of just pirating the PDF just because I enjoyed them so much. I've read the first 3 (48 Laws, Art of Seduction, and 33 Strategies Of War) at least 5 times each cover-to-cover. This quote stuck in my mind for a long time and this last trip to LA proved its validity to me.

When you grow up somewhere, you never see it the same way people do that move there from somewhere else. Which sucks for me because LA is an objectively cool city with a lot of interesting things to see and do. A ton of people move here because they see it as some kind of fantasy land where nobody cares how weird you are and you can just be yourself.

Not me. People I knew from high school are still circulating here, popping up unexpectedly at the supermarket and silently judging me for not being as cool as them. I mean probably not, but that's what I tell myself. It's stupid for sure, but I was never able to shake off that heavy blanket.

For whatever reason, I didn't really feel that during this past month. I spent a lot of time in places that I don't usually go and had a blast.

I'll be back... maybe"

For example, in Venice there's a street called Abbot Kinney that has a ton of cool little bars, cafes, independent boutiques and most importantly: smoking hot girls.

I don't know if it's because it's summer time or what, but JFC these women are out of this world. All shapes and sizes but DAMN they are hot. And they're everywhere too. Every store, every cafe... you can't turn your head without seeing some little strumpet wearing clothing that would make a modern day Indian pitch a tent.

Interestingly enough, I've also noticed that since putting on a little muscle, I seem to get more looks than before. Whoever told you women don't care about looks is a damn liar. They care.
Anyway, Abbot Kinney (and Venice in general) used to be a shithole where people slept in on the sidewalk and sold drugs in the alleys. They still do, but at least the scenery is a lot nicer