The Day I Became An IndividualiststeemCreated with Sketch.

in #teamaustralia7 years ago (edited)

All the world will be your enemy, Prince with a Thousand Enemies, and when they catch you they will kill you...
...But first they must catch you.

There were two events that for some reason (1) Stuck in my memory and (2) for some reason popped in my head recently, both were so long ago that some details are quite vivid, however some are quite vague (I was young).

The First Event

The first was an instant that occurred at some sort of day care/kindergarten or maybe creche as the place wasn't busy with kids, however was overseen by a woman. I guess that I was maybe 4-5 years old. There was a large area where one could play with toys, and as it turns out heaps of toys.

I was interested in the blocks, of which there was many, and I proceeded to use the blocks to construct (at least as I saw it) a ship. There was a few other kids, there not many, and therefore plenty of room, blocks, toys, whatever you could imagine, it was for all intents and purposes, kid utopia.

Now for me the construction of the ship was the motivation for my game, so as you could understand I was particularly annoyed when this annoying kid (lets call him Dennis) decided to come and knock down my newly constructed ship. Now I was (not anymore) a pretty quiet passive kid, so I proceeded to re-build the boat and re-locate to an area away from Dennis The Menace. Obviously this was never going to work and the inevitable happened, now this is where my memory is vague. While I can't remember what occurred, I do remember the feeling it produced. It was the; "FUCK OFF and get your own blocks" kinda feeling, (which I couldn't articulate at that age) and may have prompted the authority to come over. In my head, I was thinking; "you gonna get it now punk, find your own blocks biatch". However, to my astonishment (as in, I felt astonishment, and bear in mind I am going on how I felt) I was promptly told that the blocks were for everyone and that I (as in me) had to learn to share! How about someone learning the non aggression principle? There was no arbitration, there was no whats your side of the story, nothing.

There was no reason, douche bag couldn't go build his own ship of blocks (the place was nearly empty) or the woman insist that the kid leave me alone. But thinking back this could have never happened, because it was the moral policy that sharing had to be enforced by the authority, even though resources were available for everyone. They could not go against the groups idea of morality. In their defense, it was there blocks I was playing with, so what could I do.

It felt wrong to hear this, and felt somewhat condescending, was she trying my patience on purpose? needless to say there was no further ship construction that day, or play as it were, as this fuck wits goal was to get his nose into what ever I was doing, and now with full backing from the authority. Yeah so much for "socialisation huh". I was pretty quiet so retaliating was not part of my dispute resolution tool box, at that stage. [edit] it is interesting that the will to construct was quenched, being the result.

The Second Event

I suspect that this was caused by my parents, taking us to a movie about cute bunnies, called, "Watership Downs", I would not have been much older than in the first instance.

Again the details are vague, but I knew something was not right and oddly felt compelled to find out what it was; the images that stayed with me was the one at the top and the following one (and of course the closing song):

It was not until much later I understood the themes of self-determination and liberty within the story. [edit] The field turning RED eluding to an ominous future.

It is funny that I keep these two incidents and for some reason reminded of them recently. Maybe because I am looking for a reason why people choose authoritarian movements over freedom, and while doing this, my memory is telling me, hey this where you started, maybe they started from the other side. Maybe they are Dennis, who have successfully achieved power over others using the state.

It is also the earliest instance of such feelings that I can remember, for some reason, the feelings seem somewhat natural, as if that is the way it should be; the authoritative decision requiring an administrator and force felt so un-fair (even then) almost as if the programming had begun.

The Moral Of The Story

If you want to play with blocks, make sure you have your own.

Be careful when you force a kid to share, it may not have the effect you were expecting. [edit] It is likely that they percieve you as an authority.

Be careful what you let them watch, there are strong adult themes going through these movies which may not be what you think. In this case Watership Downs is not really hiding its themes, However they have come along way with film making for children.

LB

[Edit]

If You Were Not Emotionally Touched By this Post

Watch the following video and re-read

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Came for the picture of a disturbing childhood memory, stayed for the interesting polit-philosophical article.

I was too young to understand or even fully remember the movie, I just remember all the bunny eyes trapped underground.

I actually have a guy, lets call him Flitsher, who I always remember when I talk about bullying and stuff. It is quite a unique story because he was bullied by us but I still believe he is the asshole in the story:

5th-6th Grade:

Flitsher is someone who won't take social queues, he won't stop talking to you until you clearly tell him: "Flitsher please let me alone, i don't want to talk to you!" Being children such conversations often took a violent turn. One guy got kicked out of our class because he was violent towards Flitsher, the whole class protesting that decision did not help.

Flitsher got violent towards a girl half his size because he was annoyed by her. <--- my first white knight moment and Flitsher got it good.

In 13th/graduation grade:

We are in France with our Math-LK class. The last night we have a small party at the hostel room of mine. Everybody was invited, Flitsher and even the teachers.

At some point I see Flitsher drinking my last 0,677 Heineken bottle that I cooled in the sink. He told me "someone drank my last beer so I will drink yours now" and refused to give my beer back. I grabbed my beer, grabbed him and closed the door behind him with a kick. My teachers where quite shocked and told me I needed to apologize... 30 minutes later Flitsher is talking to me like I am his new best friend...

TL;DR you should always be able to choose who you want to share with and who you want in your "social group". Being friends with everyone under the sun is unrealistic bs that only people that are foreign to the real world would preach.

I think that this does come down to, will we have choice or will we give it away to the state. Unfortunately the truth of the matter is if most people give it away we will all be forced to play along (or die).

"someone drank my last beer so I will drink yours now"

It was at the moment Flitsher knew ...he fucked up.

I think there is more in between. The freedom of choice is not the same as actual freedom, I sometimes hear that the Americans think that having more than 2 major parties would be a solution, but they couldn't be more wrong. We have 6 parties moving into our next German Parlament (Bundestag) and they all suck. Not sure how it is in down under.

Agree, its the same down here, but I was more referring to, if we go communist or some form of authoritarian government, we will all become best comrades the following day. Any future differing opinions after that, will earn a one way helicopter ride.

I know what you meant but I am in fact a lefty. no communist, no state-socialist and also no anarcho-communist. I am just not convinced that if we get rid of the state everything will be flowers and sunshine.

The state is a tool for elitists to control us, if the state is gone something else will fill that power vacuum and we should really think harder about what that should be.

Some sort of basic code that is implemented for all (to assure NAP ie) and the main political power being small cities and communities would be my solution. If those communities want to live in an communist utopia, capitalist utopia or anything else then that is fine. There should also be a law allowing 1-(wo)man -communities, aka hermits. People who can make their own rules, but also have to supply themselves.

Yes, I can't see how how the government can be completely dissolved, there needs to be something. I think we are largely in agreement (left or right)

the main political power being small cities and communities would be my solution.

This is how I see it too, people in that region can decide for themselves what they want.

The state is a tool for elitists to control us.

So true, none of these discussions can be useful, without acknowledging the hidden power broker. I hate that people consider this "conspiracy theories", to me it is intellectually lazy to think that "elites" would not collude in their own interests. I think more people are aware these days though.

There should also be a law allowing 1-(wo)man -communities, aka hermits. People who can make their own rules, but also have to supply themselves.

Interesting, I have never heard of this (beyond the idea of the sovereign person).

Essentially more thought needs to be put into what it is that will replace the current system. Bearing in mind that nothing can be done, whilst working within the current financial rule system.

Wow, you do actually understand very well where I am coming from. Not much to add. Following you now :D

Thanks, do you post ? I'll check your site out. Just be aware that sometimes I can be prone to frivolity from time to time. Laughter helps me keep sane.

I am glad to see you here mate as I think you will find some of Louis's content interesting :)

I didn't read your comment of course...

I have several experiences similar yet I was raised to never be aggressive, turn the other cheek kind of behavior. As you know, I am starting to realise that turning the other cheek leads to a lot of violence against people that do not have the resilience or ability to turn the other cheek and it effects them deeply for a long time.

Well, I was quite "physical" as a kid but you know that was just boys being boys, no blood, no broken bones. Well once in Elementary where someone tried to jump on me and I catapulted him off me with both feet... Didn't expect that move to be this powerful, he also wore glasses so he actually bled. I was really sad and sorry because it was just some fun scuffling.

Turning the other cheek was never my thing but I literally did it twice, but the slaps were so soft that I didn't know what to make of them (male, 1 my size , 1 bigger). I know very well how to use my strength and people normally don't fight me seriously because I will not bow down if threatened and show determination. (My how to get rid of bullies 101)

Maybe one note on Flitsher as something redeeming. I played Magic TG with him and liked the competition I had going on with him in math. He was not stupid per se, he just had what you would call low EQ nowadays.

I still love fighting to this very day when it is within boundaries. I never punched anyone in the face, so I am actually too much of a pussy to go to a boxing club :D. I just feel like you get to know people better when you fight them.

This example that I heard sticks in my brain:

Imagine that as an adult you have been planning and dreaming of getting a new car, and when you finally bring your new car home, someone asks if they can borrow it. You say no, but then are informed by several other people that you MUST SHARE!

That is what it is like for a child that has a special toy. We should not imagine that they don't share the same feelings that we as adults do.
There should be toys for sharing with other children that are visiting, or with siblings, BUT if the child has something very special to them, they should be able to keep that toy in a special safe spot where nobody else is allowed to access it.

I posted about this memory intentionally as it had an effect on me as an adult. The real meaning of the post to me is, I think that people down play the "meta" nature of what they learned (or experienced) followed by how they process and act on it later.

Learning to "share" or learning to "respect other peoples property" (I'm suggesting) has ramifications for how we feel about the right to own private property or whether we should redistribute wealth. The weaker child after this experience will feel entitlement towards other peoples property.

There should be toys for sharing with other children that are visiting, or with siblings, BUT if they child has something very special to them, they should be able to keep that toy in a special safe spot where nobody else is allowed to access it.

I agree with this that sharing (especially within the family & close friends) should be something that a child learns, but not for the sake of sharing. Rather I think kids should learn benevolence or why sharing is fulfilling, especially in the situations you described over "automatic sharing" coupled with respect for other peoples autonomy. I strongly feel that this can not be achieved in kindergarten, child care or school (caveat: without major re thinking of these institutions).

There should be toys for sharing with other children that are visiting, or with siblings, BUT if they child has something very special to them, they should be able to keep that toy in a special safe spot where nobody else is allowed to access it.

I think this is a good point, and if I was to try and extrapolate that out to adult behaviour, we might be able to say that this is an indication of our future ideas on how we look after our things; how we consume things etc. Recently I have discovered something special to me, and now I have a special safe spot for metals ;) I still have the mentality of a 5 year old.

Thanks for your comment, you were one of the first people who interacted and provided encouragement when I first started on steemit.

Yes, at least for some things it should be the choice of the child's whether they want to share something or not. I see that this may have indications in later life too where not only things but people's bodies and minds become community property.

It is possible that those like Dennis in the story above feel they have the rights to a persons private world and with the voyeuristic culture we have developed, lines from looking to touching are likely to get increasingly crossed. And if they are met by resistance, violence is more likely as they have not learned the emotional intelligence and control required to handle 'not getting what you want'.

As you are very well aware but I will repeat here, these formative years have deep impacts on children in bothe positive and negative. And again as you know, many people's attempts at 'good' actually drive a host of developmental problems in the future.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions, my professor used to say. Unfortunately your right that these ideas that are formed about "things"cross over into how people interact with other people.

The future is not just that others will feel that bodies or minds will be community property, it is that the people themselves will believe this and offer these things willingly, which is infinitely worse. The coercion is happening now, so it will seem normal later. examples of this are facebook, tinder or ...insert google app here. Tinder is particularly dangerous experiment, I can see the effect it has on my much younger class mates currently. Sex is as easy as ordering takeout you just need to get the timing right for availability. It reminds me of a pre-cursor to behaviour described in Brave New World (refer below). Even my class mates can't imagine what would be the next progression from here, but I think we can all see where this will go.
https://steemit.com/teamaustralia/@louisbettong/aldus-huxley-s-predictions-of-today-and-future

Wow...what an interesting narrative @louisbettong nice one...what an emotional song ...nice video

Glad you liked it. The song is from the movie.

Sounds like you are young, and have yet found yourself in a situation in life where you were absolutely on your own.

If you have your family around you are never completly alone. But in everyone's life there are moments that come where you are going to be resourceless, lost, and helpless. And then you will see how you will have more if you have others, than if you consider yourself just an isolated individual.

in everyone's life there are moments that come where you are going to be resourceless, lost, and helpless.

Young at heart

I have a very similar childhood memory which has always stayed with me and how can you not be affected by Watership Down?

I believe we are very much shaped by our childhood experiences for better or worse and young children are much more perceptive than adults realise. After all, they've yet to be indoctrinated.

...how can you not be affected by Watership Down?

I know, I know

...and young children are much more perceptive than adults realise. After all, they've yet to be indoctrinated.

I think kids are still going by feel, so are a bit more sensitive to these feelings. It is interesting that these thoughts can be traced back so many years. It is not something that hinders me, it was just thought that came up.