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Sorry, I already told @nonameslefttouse that if only it were mine, it would be his.
You have to come early to life's dining table sometimes to get a bite to eat.

OK, OK. I can't handle tears. I'm going to shaft @nonameslefttouse and give it to you if it were mine to give. Unless @nonameslefttouse starts crying too. Then I don't know what I will do.