Journeys of delusion: The personal diary of Jennifer Gray - Episode 1

Posted on behalf of author @firefox101

My name is Jennifer Gray. I am a 29 year old female schizophreniac, I fit into society unnoticed, you'd never know I had this condition unless I told you about it. The truth is, people's idea of Schizophrenia is completely wrong. I'm here to tell you some truths...

These are the stories from things that have happened to me because of my condition, the things I've done, caused, and what is going on daily in my life now. My mind has been so far from reality that people wouldn't believe me when I told them the things that go on inside my head, and that I believe them to be reality. I've worked hard to bridge the gap between what is real and what is not real - this is no Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde story, but simply the daily struggle of a young girl who lost her way at the age of 21 and has been struggling for years to find herself.

I hear voices inside my head, many voices, changing voices, constant voices... Who are they? Thats something I'm trying to find out, why - because if you were hearing someone talking inside your head wouldn't you want to know who they were? An ongoing struggle with myself - the only true voices - disguised as other people. Why? Because I'm hurt, deeply hurt, and I'm on a journey to find out how to heal all of these hurt people inside my head one day at a time. Most of the time we're enemies though, at times we've been lovers, and the rest of the time we've been playing cat and mouse. Ive spent time being taunted and abused, I've been to hell and back(many times), and there came my interest as to why would I do this to myself - always hard to believe, but i try... or do I? we'll have to see who is going to win this battle?! "the race is long but in the end it's only with yourself" - Baz Luhrman, Sunscreen.