Very much true what you wrote. Even without being lazy or finding an argument for justifying why you did not or could not, it is a constant battle you fight daily within yourself. Working for a loan has it's challenges. Not always is creativity rewarded or even integrity. Breaking out of this vicious cycle would mean indeed to generate your own money if you want it your way. However, if the economic situation in your country is in a bad place ( policies are lacking to motivate and protect entrepeneurs) and lots of bureaucracy it is very challenging to start something on your own. But you never should give up on your dreams and every opportunity should be explored till one can materialize it. Meantime we all need to continue with whatever it is we do to earn money as we have to provide.