This is bad

I'm about to go crazy,
I want to hug you.
I was in the middle of a silent war.
Only with this feeling of vertigo,
but you are here,
right in the middle of the fire in my mind.
try to get you out of there and
I do not understand why it does not work
if you have already freed me.
The worst is this silent pain. I can not complain,
all the screams are stuck in my throat.
I go out to walk my doubts and I do not see you.
The steps weigh me down, as if it really were a crime.
Now I know you will not come back. Only I feel this?
If it's such a stupid thing, why does it hurt so much?
When it's cold, I can not call you either.
It's so hard to have to pretend it's not happening.
This is bad.
So sorry.