This series of stories will be titled 'I'm surprised I turned out as well as I did, given my childhood ...' 39

in #life7 years ago (edited)

My grandmother (mother’s mother) wore an apron, she had a lot of aprons. She never wore trousers but I don’t know if she wore dresses or skirts, I just don’t remember.


Almost the same kitchen too!

I do remember the aprons though. Full-length, from chest to knee, the aprons tied at the back, a large pocket right across the front held everything she'd need - forever!

I don’t know whether she had them made or if she bought them, I just remember the flowery, colourful aprons that kept her clothes clean as she baked bread, peeled vegetables, rolled pastry, washed her brother-in-law’s oven gloves… you name it, she did everything whilst wearing that apron.


The belt was loose and tied like this.

My older cousins (brother and sister) sometimes deigned to play with me. I was the younger kid-cousin and I can’t blame them for not wanting to bother with me – I had nothing of value to bring to the table. They’d been there, done that, seen it all and I was just starting to…

I looked up to my cousins. My eldest cousin was awesome, I remember. She was tougher than any boy I knew (still is) and I admired her and wanted to tag along everywhere.

Same with her brother. He was handsome and clever and he just would NOT let me tag along.

So the day they were playing upstairs and allowed me to join in was awesome!

We weren’t allowed in our grandparents’ bedroom so they were playing in the next-largest bedroom. It had an old wooden double-bed. On the bed were a few pieces of clean washing.

My cousins were both at ‘big school’ and they wore a uniform with a tie.

I asked how to tie a tie and they showed me, using the belt from one of our grandmother’s aprons.

Around half an inch wide, doubled-over fabric, the cloth belt was nothing like a tie, not even the skinny ties the Mods wore. But still, it would do in a pinch.

They taught me how to fold the fabric over in front of myself. I watched carefully because I knew I’d have to do it after they deemed they’d given me long enough to learn.

I had a go and eventually I got it right. Rather than being a conventional knot – like you’d put in rope – I managed to knot the apron belt like a proper tie. The knot would slide up just like it should! Success!

I used to have a thing about things fitting snug and tight… to be fair, I still don’t like things not fitting properly – a door with a gap, etc.

The ‘tie’ wasn’t quite snug enough. I pushed the knot up.

Still not snug…

I pushed it up and pulled the other end to make it really tight…

That was where everything started to go wrong.

My cousins didn’t realise anything was wrong to start with. Then they realised and tried to get the belt loosened. They couldn’t do anything. I’d tightened it way too much. If anything, their efforts probably tightened it even more.

I remember walking down the stairs to find our grandmother. I held my head up high because that was the only way I could get any oxygen at all – and that was precious little.

It took an absolute age to get down those stairs and the blood pounding in my ears – and eyeballs – was deafening. My face felt hot and it was impossible to swallow past the belt/tie.

The look on my grandmother’s face when I wandered into the parlour was pure horror. She rushed over to me and she tried to loosen the belt/tie knot.

Eventually, she took a pair of scissors. She asked what had happened.

“I was tying a tie and it got too tight,” I said.

My cousins didn’t half cop for it because she knew I’d never managed to teach myself how to tie that tie. I had to learn it from somewhere and the usual suspects THAT day were my cousins.

Oh don’t worry… my uncle got re-married and the cousins lived with him. Same village, but they weren’t always at my grandparents’ and so the ‘Usual Suspect’ tag went straight onto my shoulders.

The cousins got into a lot of trouble that day.

I nearly died.

They shouldn’t have been in the bedroom.

I shouldn’t have been taught how to tie a tie yet.

Grandmother’s apron belt was RUINED!

I’m still good with knots…

At our grandparents’ house, there were drawers filled with knick-nacks and all sorts of useful items and my grandmother always knew where a thing was.

I liked rummaging through the cupboards and drawers and I always asked what a thing was. I’d take it out, hold it up and ask, “What’s this, Grandma?”

She never told me what anything was. Sometimes, Grandad would answer, but he made stuff up (I think).

“Sugar tablets, here, taste one!”

Have you ever tasted saccharine? It has a horrible after-taste.

“Horse liniment.”

“Here, taste it!”

Nice one, grandad… not really!

“Sweeties, here, taste one…”

I quickly learned to NOT taste anything my grandad offered. It just wasn’t worth it.

That one time I found saccharine tablets in the drawer at our house and allowed my little sister to try it, though!

I got no end of shit for that!

“You don’t know what those tablets are!”

It was the same tablet grandad gave me…

What are you thinking, giving one to your sister?

I was thinking it was the same trick played on me, by an adult and he thought it was funny!

You don’t know what it could have been!

True, but I knew it tasted horrible and I wanted to see her face…

It could have been poison!

Of course… because you keep poison loose in a drawer…

Images from Google

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The apron brings back lots of cool memories, not my grandmother because she would never wear one of those things. But memories of a much sweeter lady, my great aunt. She always wore one and had plenty of sweets had for little children. Glad that you didn't croak. Then we wouldn't have all these excellent stories...

I'm glad I didn't croak too LOL

My other grandmother wouldn't wear one either...

@michelle.gent. Have read a lot of your childhood experiences and most time I just want to say thank God for your life. Your been alive today is a sign that God has a purpose for it .
You've been involved in so many dangerous happenings while growing up and have come to understand you must be tough as a girl while growing up. Tough in this context is a compliment.
Thank God you escape the tie knotting incident. Like they will say in my language ''PELE'' meaning "SORRY" and big thanks to grandma. lol.
Thanks for sharing this at least It shows I be careful to always watch out for my children when they playing.

Always your fan @optimistdehinde

If this story makes just one parent keep a closer eye on a child in a similar situation, then it has been WELL WORTHWHILE.

Thank you. Keep an eye on those babies :)

Apron that tells a lot... love it!

Yeah... I keep remembering those little touches.

The way you tell your story is really amazing. I wish you'd give out tutorials to aspiring writers like myself. Please, do give it consideration.

BTW, someone drew to my attention that it's against steemit rules to say Google is the source of your image. I just thought to let you know.

Thank you. I'm considering writing a tutorial (or two). I just have to get it right..? :)

Post on image usage

I probably should take more time over the proper attribution though.

Just checked that post. It was a very useful resource and I've bookmarked the page.

I have a couple of new blogs you may be interested in:

Lesson 1

Lesson 2

My grandmother usually tell me a story. I cannot remember maybe because i was little. She said i liked so much food. And she was praying one day and i went to meet her to come give me food but she could not because she was praying. Then i went to get a mortar and i hit it in her head.

Nice post, thanks for sharing...upvoted

lol....great stories you got here....

great post like it!!!

Smiling. I must say this your story is quit funny and at the same time very dangerous. Had it been your grandmom was not around that day, what would have happened to you?.
I can remember my experience of knowing how to knot a tie ,it was not easy but after series of several attempt , i eventually got my reward.

Nice post @michelle.gent

If she wasn't there? I'd have died...

this is a unique thing but all of them
thereby freedom
in the activity,
this may be the reason
@michelle.gent : thanks sharing