My Rattlesnake Infested Property!

in #life8 years ago (edited)

A few years back I was going to purchase a property in Georgia that was located in an area surrounded by swampland and woods. The house on the plot had been sitting vacant for years but after inspection I noticed it wasn't in that bad of shape and the price was fair so I bit on the deal. Things were great for the first few days until I started noticing snakes! Venomous snakes of all types! Everywhere! Under the shed, under the house, in the lawn, everywhere!

Upon discovering the the dangers around me I immediately decided to take action. I'm a Biology Major and I only believe in killing if necessary, but it was warranted in a few cases. I had big Timber Rattlers under my shed, an Eastern Corral Snake under the house (which I found with my elbow), and a major Pygmy Rattlesnake in the front yard. They were so small and all through the grass like worms!


IF STARTLED OR IN A DANGEROUS SITUATION DO NOT HESITATE TO KILL THE SNAKE! 


Phase 1: I decided to start eliminating the biggest threat, the pygmies! I went to Tractor Supply and bought 25 baby chickens to roam the property to both take out the snakes food supply as well as the snakes when big enough. DO NOT play around with pygmy or baby rattlesnakes. They are the worst! Neither can regulate venom output, so when you get bit by that cute little guy, you're f**ked! NEVER try to touch them and if you happen to step on one, stomp that thing into the ground and don't hesitate! If you see the snake in advanced then of course try to capture it in a container and relocate it.

Phase 2: As the pygmies were being captured or chased off the property I also started wrangling up the bigger ones. The lone Corral Snake under the house was actually fairly easy. They ARE the most venomous snake in the U.S. but are also one of the most shy and docile. I crawled under the house, made some noise near the rotten lumber where I saw it prior, scared it out, followed it to an open area, and that was about it. The snake was very easy to coax into a bucket. 

The Timber Rattlers under my shed proved to be the most challenging. They were the biggest I had ever seen, and I had already decided to catch them barehanded for minimal stress to the snake so they were good and strong for relocation. I caught the first snake with ease. It was almost 5 feet, so I could easily grab it's tail yet still keep its head at bay with a stick. NEVER EVER PUT YOUR HAND NEAR THE FANGS! This should be a no brainer but so many professional idiots grab snakes by the head on TV I had to say something.

There were now only 2 snakes remaining that I knew of and one was unhealthy and easy to capture. Sadly, the last snake under the shed turned out to be a monster that was lightning fast and equally aggressive! After almost a week of failed attempts to capture it I almost dropped a brick in my shorts when I rounded a corner near the back of the shed and he was right there pissed off and close enough to land a strike. With a rush of adrenaline I acted, and the snake met its end via a piece of wood. 

Finally after almost a month of hell, the property started to feel somewhat normal and safe. I even started noticing a reduction in harmful insects. Thanks chickens! This story is just something I thought I'd share for fun, it doesn't really have a moral, but it sure does have a 'kicker.' After all this snake removal as well as labor and property maintainence I found out via a title search that there were major problems with the deed and I couldn't even buy it! Maybe it was a good thing! Hah