Guilt, Productivity and Uselessness...

When I was a kid, my dad would always notice if I was just standing there and immediately declare "Make yourself useful!"

To say that he was bothered by anything that resembled sloth would be a massive understatement!

These days, I am often "useless," but it has taken me a very long time to get to this point... at least without feeling guilt about it.

I really like photography and taking pictures of the world around me. Anytime I stop my work because something interesting appeared in my field of view, old familiar feelings of guilt over "wasting time with something useless" when I could be doing "something more productive with my life try to swim back into my awareness.

It all makes me pause to ponder why we feel what we feel, and especially why we feel what we feel when we are experiencing negative feelings.

What are the mechanics?

When I look back from all these years later, there's little doubt that my father was a workaholic, and he had been raised in the tradition of people who felt strongly that "idle hands" were an abomination of some kind.

My own guilt came from the fact that I felt no natural inclination to bust my butt at everything that presented itself. In fact, I tried to pass on most things, rather than participate.

But while I typically chose to not be constantly into "being useful," it was a challenge to let go of the associated guilt of not doing what (I thought) was expected of me.

You spend too much time thinking, and not enough time doing!

Were it not for my Auntie — my dad's older sister who helped raise me — I might not have developed my appreciation for simply observing before undertaking something.

Whereas my Dad and my Aunt were always "friendly," they didn't see eye-to-eye on how to approach the whole process of living life.

My auntie only did as much as was needed, and felt no compulsion to exert herself beyond doing crossword puzzles with the remainder of her time.

I am not sure my dad appreciated her influence on my development as a young person... although I am definitely very grateful for it, today!

Of course, we do all have to be productive, as life demands it... and I am often working a lot, but it remains only as much as a situation calls for. I don't "work for work's sake."

Although I am mostly over it, the guilt does still sometimes show up....

Thanks for reading, and have a great rest of your week!

How about you? Are there life lessons you were taught as a child that you feel guilty about NOT following? Leave a comment if you feel so inclined — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!

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Created at 2024.09.12 01:04PDT
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