Learning To Love Yourself

in #health7 years ago

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You see that girl? That is the same girl three years apart.

The girl on the left was eating the bare minimum to keep going, boxing two hours a day, and hated herself for sneaking a bite of anything not approved on her diet. She was losing 5 pounds a week, and was determined to reach her goal.

"I just have to lose two more inches off my hips. Two more. Only a couple more weeks, I'll get there."

But she never got there.

She knew better then to ignore what her body was telling her. That's why she would eat an extra protein bar, or sneak a bowl of cereal. Because her body couldn't survive on the egg whites, and 8 oz of protein a day. It couldn't thrive on 10 oz of green veggies. It needed fruit, it needed variety, it needed more than what was being given to it.

She knew that those two inches were skin and bone, and that she didn't have anymore fat to lose there.

The girl on the left was developing horrible thoughts about her body, because she was told she was too big. Her hips were too fat, and if she couldn't lose the weight she couldn't be a model. She wanted to model so bad, she wanted to follow that dream.

The girl on the right continues to follow that dream. She's not told she is too big or too fat, rather than she is almost too small. She's labeled as "curve" or "plus size." When people ask her how that's true, she just laughs and rolls her eyes while she says, "societies standards, I guess."

The girl on the right doesn't watch what she eats, but she still eats healthy (except the occasionally bowl or two of ice cream- whoops). She doesn't think badly of herself. She doesn't wish she could've been born with smaller hips so her measurements could be smaller.

The girl on the right is atleast 60 pounds heavier. She has a million more stretch marks, and her hips are atleast 4 inches wider.

She is happier.

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She is healthier.

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She is me.

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The road to loving yourself isn't easy. Especially when you're in the habit of thinking poorly of yourself. When you have the pressures of society telling you that you are not beautiful, or that you're not skinny enough, or you're no curvy enough.

But I promise you, you can learn to love yourself.

It starts with accepting yourself. Tell yourself everyday that you are beautiful. It's going to feel cheesy as hell at first, but it's start to change your habits of thinking.

You have to realize that your opinion of yourself, is the ONLY one that matters. Period.

If you want to see more posts about my journey, let me know!

You can see more of my modeling images on my Instagram: @_nikkij

Thank you for all the support!

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this is an absolutely lovely story thank you for sharing it.

I prefer the new you way, way more

Thank you so much! I'm a lot happier this way, and I think that it shows more in my pictures.

Thank you again for the support :)

You are welcome and I agree from the pictures you look sooo much happier today.
You are an inspiration!

be what you love to be.

Yes, precisely!! Be whatever makes you happy.

The beauty's inside of us💗👏🏻 amazing post

Exactly!! I agree!

Thank you so much!!

No Joke You look Waaayyyyy better now! As I personally like my ladies Thick in all the right places ;)

I wish the industry felt the same way! But it's slowly getting there!

Thank you for the support.

You can see the hunger in your eyes. Glad to see you healthier!

Thanks for sharing

Thank you for the support!

You look so much better now and healthier, society is all wrong, I choose not to believe it :)

Congratulations @nikkij!
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Do you hop to a new fashion trend of plus size model? It seems like that you didn't suceed on old fashion and try ourself on this new.

As a plus you definitely hop into more swim wear type style, so sort of!!

wow thank you for your story :)
I am glad that you changed your opinion about yourself ;)

Thank you for the support!! It was a hard journey.. But I have a little sister and I want to be an example, you know?

you are welcome :)
nice, you are definitely a good example ;)